Category: Rape Culture

She lost more than just her voice that night. The reckless crime spree robbed her of her dignity, her safety and whittled away at her worth. Flashbacks blur the lines between illusion and reality and like a broken record the words, “how do I make this stop?” play over and over in her dreams. Her hands clutch the steering wheel as she rounds the corner of the parking structure. On any other day she would have avoided this parking garage, just as she now does with walks after sunset, dresses and martinis. But today, today was different. As she hustled towards downtown the noise from the flickering street light above induced a panic and layered her body in a film of sweat. Terror alarms her every move as she plays her daily game of hide-and-seek. Her jaunt becomes a wobbly as the anxiety of arriving late weighs heavily on her mind. You see, she has become a professional at the sport of playing cat and mouse with her senses. From the sound of shoes beating on the pavement, to the catcalls whistled her way, only to serve as a constant reminder of the soot that covers her like a jacket. She has acquired the necessary skill in order to navigate her way through the maze of screeching buses and hollering subways. All the while, quick like a cat, dodging most human interaction. When she finally arrives the air is frigid and the crowd silent. As they rose and the gavel slammed down onto the bench, despair lit up the room like fireworks. For it was not his custom made suit that outwitted the jurors, or that his lie was more believable than her truth. It is that justice fell short and landed on the steps outside city hall. As she stood face to face with her assailant, his smirk pierced her heart as the judge read, “30-day probation” for the burglary that paid homage to the patriarch.

I felt it was necessary to write a follow up piece to my Rape Culture article due to the response from a male coworker of mine. After reading my piece he immediately replied, “why are women buying these products and supporting the anti-rape market?”  What he failed to see by asking that question – he unequivocally proved my point. His response speaks directly to the historical patriarch and policies that support the cultural and social objectification of women. These are the same men that will never know what it’s like to avoid parking garages, to always walk with their keys in between their fingers, to have their eyes on their drink at all times, or to be catcalled on the streets every day.

If we are going to have an honest conversation about rape- placing the onus on women to protect themselves when the system fails is not an encouraging solution. It is imperative we challenge this narrative- a narrative that is consistently reinforced by the media, socially accepted as the norm and carried out though policy. Instead of asking why women are buying anti-rape products, perhaps we start the conversation by addressing society’s inability to hold the perpetrator accountable. While at the same time identifying and acknowledging “Rape Culture”.  These products, the expanding anti-rape market and my  coworker ‘s response, are largely ineffective when it comes to creating a world that is safe for women.

Why is it easier to develop products like anti-rape nail polish than it is to take on the roots of rape culture?  Why is it easier to raise awareness about sexual assault than it is to implement policies to prevent it?

Do we live in a system where rape is reinforced by the patriarch and exemplified by the perpetrator’s sentencing?  A system where 1 in 5 women are raped?  A system where 3% of the attackers are punished?  A system where 70% of rapes go unreported?  Is this a system designed to protect women, or a system that fuels the blatant objectification of women?

If we want to stop rape – not merely avoid it – we need to hold rapists accountable and stop blaming the victims.  So when John Kasich’s makes misogynistic comments to women about how they should “avoid parties with alcohol” – they are seen as categorically outlandish.